Quick, slow, quick, quick slow....

And relax... Another memorable Parish has been and gone and with it some amazing performances. There's no point trying to highlight them all - so I'll just mention the ones I know about. From the top... Robbie, being the wrong side of 50 (and grey, as our Dutch visitor pointed out) is an inspiration. Fantastic performance one again. Ray & Michael - pushing themselves to new levels and wonderful times. Eammon is truely Mr Consistent and ever-thoughtful of his fellow walkers (thanks Mrs Eammon). Tom Melvin was lying down with an oxygen mask on by the time I reached the finish - clearly 100% effort. A 90 minute PB saw Jock Waddington storm through the field. Sue B. yet again fastest lady, but Jane Mooney, Jane Kennaugh and Alison Brand all excelled and weren't so far behind. Martin Beismanns had a can of lager in his hand seconds after crossing the line, much the same as Terry Moffat had a smoke - both outstanding walks. Michael Shipsides finished faster than anyone I saw - another top walk. Mark Hempsall - wow - proof that a proper, serious approach reaps rewards. Fantastic. 154 finishers must represent a higher percentage of finishing entrants - well done to everyone who made it round in what were far from ideal conditions.

For my part, my support crew have told me that, unless I do some proper training, they won't support me next time. I don't blame them either. I was OK to Michael, but slowed to Bride. Walked with our Dutch friend to Andreas and then really slowed on the stretch to Lezayre. By Ramsey, I was totally spent - nothing left at all and really shuffling. I apologised to my crew for the long night ahead of them and was prepared for a sore throat from greeting the hoards that would pass me. Then a miracle! On the drop into Port Lewaigue I just got going. From there to Laxey I was storming along and was 20 minutes faster than last year at the Glen Mona. After Laxey, my second wind, which had been gale-force, was dropping to a breeze and soon after Lonan I was becalmed in the energy doldrums. The Liverpool Arms to Onchan was awful - pitch black and really dangerous. The pavement is terrible and the road is very fast. The heaven's opened again in Onchan but even the smell of the finish couldn't raise my game. The Prom was embarassingly slow. The final 300m was the worst - I knew I was going to be sick and suddenly got cold. Top marks to the finish crew - a chair, a coat and a bag to throw up in - what more could you want?

Good bits - no real blisters and I (just) beat last year's time. Bad bits - I won't bore you. An hour in the bath (Cal had to pull the plug out to get me out) was followed by more throwing up. Then seven hours sleep before getting up for a wee and another vomit! Stiff as a board, various abrasions and a bruised foot where I'd tied my laces too tight (noticed at Marown) but couldn't be bothered to loosen them.

My recovery will continue with a four day trip to Barcelona! Our first holiday 'on our own' for 17 years. So, enjoy the presentation, sorry I won't be there to applaud you all. It was a pleasure to have taken part in such a wonderfully-organised, well-supported local event. What sums it up for me is the number of little tables set out on the roadside supplying drinks and food for the walkers. It could only happen here.

The nitty-gritty of nipple-rub

This will be the last I write before the race. Much as I'd like to share my thoughts in the final hours, I know I'll be too busy tomorrow doing all the last-minute stuff I've been telling you all to avoid. It's OK being a bit laid-back in the build-up, but it does make for a hectic final few days. I'll be more organised next time... By the way, following on from Mark Hempsall's request for suitable songs - '25 Miles' by Edwin Starr get's my vote every time.

First of all - lets hear it for the support crews. They do a largely thankless task, but an essential one. If twenty hours in a car, punctuated by driving slowly for a mile or so, before sitting and waiting for your ever-slowing walker to come around the corner and demand whatever it is that you haven't got, is your idea of fun, then this is the job for you. My crew will hopefully be a bit more supportive than last year ('When are you going to start trying..?" and "I know it's raining, but you're not having your jacket. Speed up a bit and you'll warm up")... Thanks also to the army of checkers who man the churches. The further round the course you get, the longer their shifts. At Onchan, it will be a ten-hour stint!

Right - time for the nitty-gritty. Right at the start of this blog I emphasised the value of a liberal application of Vaseline before embarking on a long walk. This is especially important if it's going to be wet. Don't be embarrassed - at 7.45am on Saturday the NSC will be full of people with a tub of Vaseline in one hand and the other reaching somewhere inside their clothing to apply the stuff. Usual chaffing areas are the ones to cover (literally) - thighs, bum-cheeks, underarms etc. In a similar vein - don't forget to protect your nipples with plasters. You have been warned.

Toilets are few and far between on the Parish route. It's a rural course, so there is plenty of opportunity for nipping over the hedge for a wee. However, for anything more than that, you might not be too keen to 'crouch in the clover'. Think ahead and work out where there are loos. On Saturday, if you are particularly nervous (or you have had a curry and 10 pints on Friday evening) you might want to think about taking an Immodium or two. Toilet availability will then be of no concern to you. In fact, you can get that new bathroom fitted next week, because you probably won't be needing it until about Wednesday.

I've spoken to quite a few people over the past few days. Many, especially the newcomers, have been really nervous. People have been unable to sleep, unable to eat and just want to get it over. Try and remember to enjoy it. You're going to be part of a brilliant, local event and it's going to be a memorable day for us all. Don't forget that it's just a really long walk. If you've done enough training then you will hopefully achieve your aims. If you haven't (are you looking at me?) then you may well struggle. Either way, you'll meet new people and find out new things about yourself. We're lucky to be healthy enough to take part and to have such beautiful surroundings to walk in and, if you think you're struggling - turn around - there will always be someone behind you (unless you're last of course).

Have a fantastic day.

Soggy realisation is dawning

It looks like the forecast for Saturday/Sunday is a bit 'changeable'. That's OK - yes, ideally you'd like a calm, mild, dry day, but as long as it's not a scorcher or a wash-out, we should be happy enough. The chance of a shower en route underlines the importance of clothing options. So here goes...

In a nutshell - be prepared for hot, cold, dry and wet. I know it's unlikely, but we might start in rain, be basking (basking sounds like something you'd do lying down, so that's perhaps the wrong word) in 20C+ sunshine up the Sloc, battling into a cold headwind at Jurby and finishing in a downpour on the Prom. So, I'd want everything from a vest and shorts to a waterproof coat and even a woolly hat and gloves. Whatever you start the race in, you need to have the confidence that you are equipped for any weather eventuality. Otherwise, at the first soggy realisation that you've got another 60 odd miles to go in the same soaking wet, heavy, t.shirt, the option to stop and head home for a hot bath will become very hard to resist.

So, just get a bag and fill it with anything you might possibly need. If you're unsure - put it in. Far better to not need something you've got, than to need something you haven't got. The Parish is an endurance event and success depends upon energy-efficiency. Getting cold is a sure-fire way to waste energy. The body uses loads of energy trying to stay warm and your performance levels plummet. So, it is essential not to get cold. I know it's late June, but if you get wet - especially if it's after dark and windy too - then get some extra, dry layers on and keep moving. Often, as a walker you don't necessarily notice the onset of a cold evening or the big black cloud on the horizon. This is where your support crew can save the day. Listen to them and do what they tell you (unless they say 'get in the car, we're bored now').

For regularly updated, Parish-specific weather prospects from met-man Adrian Cowin, keep an eye on the manxathletics.com forum.

Fancy a jam bap?

Another day, another lesson learned (should that be 'learnt'?). A few weeks ago I spoke to a girl who was walking the Parish for the first time. One of the main things that she and her friend were looking forward to was being able to eat all the 'goodies' they had planned for the day. Planning what you are going to eat is a great idea.

Last year I didn't eat enough. Oh, I had a pretty good breakfast and on the way to Peel, I had a couple of bananas and a Mars Bar (generously provided by spectators and sponsors). However, I didn't have any sort of eating plan to follow. I just ate when I fancied something. Unfortunately, as my fatigue increased, my appetite reduced. I had supplied my crew with a pile of grub to see me through the day, but in the end, I think I managed to finish six caramel shortcake slices - and three of them were wolfed down in the final hour!

If you are spending a normal eight-hour day at work, then you would expect at least one meal of some sort. (I've usually eaten all my packed-lunch two hours into my working day...) If you were to spend 16 hours at work, then you'd be needing at least two meals, probably three. So, it goes without saying that, for a Parish Walker, doing a very hard 16 - 24 hour day of constant exercise, nutrition must be taken very seriously.

Sometimes you will feel a bit rough and the last thing you want is to force down a raspberry jam bap. That's Ok, just try and have a bit of something - even a few jelly babies or a boiled sweet will help (albeit a teeny, tiny bit) - and as soon as you feel better, remember to restart your feeding. Aim to try and have something every hour or so. You should really have experimented with feeding patterns by this stage, but if not, just see what you can handle.

So, what should you eat? Whatever you can stomach basically. Top of my list for high-energy snacks on the hoof are malt loaf, jam sandwiches, fruit cake, flapjack and fruit, but it is really a case of whatever you fancy. A raspberry-ripple 99 in Peel won't do you too much harm and there are loads of stories of people picking up fish and chips in the Sunset City too. There's a place for energy gels too - they are easy to digest and swallow, but one an hour could prove a bit expensive. Needless to say, regular fluid intake is essential, even if it's a cold or wet day. Drink everytime you take on food, but you should also drink regularly in between feeds. Water, isotonic energy drinks (Lucozade Sport, Isostar, etc), coffee, flat coke, sweet tea and fruit juice will all be evident on Saturday - again, the choice is yours. However, alcohol is best avoided (unless things get really bad..?). Before you all head to the shops for jam and flat coke, remember, these are the (very unscientific) opinions of someone who did it wrong last time. Bon appetit Yessir!

In the dark

I've just remembered this. If you are hoping/planning to get to the finish on Saturday/Sunday, then think about your personal lighting. Last year, I hadn't considered it at all, and if it wasn't for the kindness of Roey Crellin's support crew equipping me with half of her lights, I'd have been in the dark for the last three hours of my walk.

There are some nasty corners on the Ramsey to Douglas coast road, and the object is to be seen rather than to light your way. With this in mind, a head torch along with a clip-on red flashing light or an illuminated armband should be sufficient. Last year, driving home to Laxey up the Whitebridge and along the Liverpool Arms straight (before I had to stop the car to throw up), it was brilliant to see all the walkers really well 'lit up'.

I'm going to try and write something each day this week - highlighting some of the things I learnt (i.e. mistakes I made) last year. I'll start at the start... I got there in plenty of time (no, it's true), but then got caught out socializing! Chatting to a few people, the gun went and I was right at the back. I was dodging around people and stopping and starting all along the Access Road. I didn't really get into my stride until after Union Mills. Most people will, rightly, warn against starting too fast (minutes made up at the start can turn into hours lost at the end), but the sooner you can get into a comfortable rhythm the better. One final point - if the weather is looking dodgy as you leave home, bring a couple of bin-bags with you. With a hole for your head it will provide a waterproof 'poncho' while you stand around waiting for the start. The other one is to give to someone who hasn't been as clever as you.

Corner shop Lucozade

Time to start finalising your plans for the big day. Again, everyone is different and there are numerous approaches. Some need to know that every detail and eventuality has been covered. These people will have already had lengthy meetings with their support crew to discuss feeding plans, menus and race strategies. At the other end of the scale, there will be walkers who have yet to arrange a support driver (obligitory if you intend to carry on past Peel). They'll ring a mate a few days before and will be rushing down to the corner shop the evening before the race to buy a couple of Mars Bars and a bottle of Lucozade. If the latter sounds a bit like you, then do yourself a favour and just move everything forward 24 hours. Take it from someone who knows (I've had a year to complete the T.Shirt design, but, as usual, finished it an hour or two before the deadline), you do not want to be rushing around getting stressed on Friday evening.

I'm getting a bit worried now. The imminence (is that a real word?) of raceday can no longer be glossed over. For a while I was confident that, albeit far too little, I had at least done more training than last year. Now I'm not even sure of that. I've had a so-so week. A few walks, a run and a race. If I'd had a plan, then the Glen Mona Fell Race didn't go to it. Too fast at the start, too slow at the end and too hot all the time. It was a real scorcher - it's a rare day on the Manx hills when a headlong fall into a freezing bog improves your mood.

Stepping-up the resting-up

I was never happy with the 'serious' tag attached to this blog. To start the Parish aiming for a fast time/podium finish, you need to have been highly motivated and to have trained hard for months. I'm not and so I haven't. Murray was having trouble finding someone to fill the 'serious walker' slot in his line-up of bloggers and it's not too hard to work out why. Anyone harbouring genuine high hopes for a fast lap on the big day is probably keen to keep their preparation secrets to themselves. My knowledge of the training of the stars extends to the fact that Robbie C. spends a few weeks in the spring hiking alone in Northern Spain and that Sean Hands can usually be found circulating the Baldwin Valleys. And that's it.

We are all different and while Mr X may walk 100 miles a week, Miss Z will do just 30 but they finish the Parish together. Others have finished well up without any training at all. Either way - it's too late to make any real difference now. So relax and keep positive. With less than three weeks to go you can't do much to improve your chances, but there's plenty of time left to spoil them. So banish any thoughts of epic final training sessions, relax and stay positive.

My blog-posting has reflected my level of training recently I'm afraid. Poor at best. Taking my own advice to stop chasing last minute mileage, I seem to have embarked on a lengthy period of resting-up. For example, today's planned hour's walk never happened. I was all ready to go and sat down on the bed to put my socks on. Woke up an hour and a half later. TT Week earlier starts are catching up on me. What training I have done has gone OK, but a persistent problem with a 'soft corn' (prognosis from those respected practitioners, Dr World, Wide & Webb) on my little toe is curbing (kerbing...) my confidence. Saturday will see a blip in my rest diary because it's the Glen Mona Fell Race. After that, it's another week at work before the resting-up steps up (or down?) a gear with a week off leading up to the Parish. Maybe that's why I'm looking forward to it...